A Year of Yes: From Hollywood to Chocta

Back in September a fellow PCV in Peru wrote a really great blog about the importance of saying yes during our service. Here’s a link to that blog: read it! http://humandenominator.com/the-power-of-yes/, And as I was browsing books on my Kindle the other month, I saw one titled “A Year of Yes” with great reviews so I bought it and just finished reading it! It’s a really great book, very funny, light and yet thought provoking. Ya’ll you should read it too! It is written by the brilliant, hilarious, famous TV writer, Shonda Rhimes. She wrote Greys Anatomy and is writing Scandal now. It’s about her deciding to change her life after finding herself antisocial, overweight and unhappy. She decides to say yes to everything that is asked of her for an entire year.

Initially I wasn’t sure how this book would relate to me and my life at this point because Shonda writes about saying yes to making a speech at Dartmouth College, attending big fancy dinners for powerful women in entertainment, speaking on Jimmy Kimmel. She’s a women who through her TV shows breaks down racial and other minority’s barriers. She’s a mom. That doesn’t sound very similar to the life of a recent college grad who’s volunteering two years in an 800 person village in norther Peru picking potatoes and giving health education in broken Spanish. But it turns out, besides me laughing out loud loads of time, I found myself relating to a lot of what she writes and being able to use and apply some of the ideas in there.

Pretty much every chapter is themed in something she is now saying yes to. For example, yes to the whole truth, yes to her body, yes to people, yes to difficult conversations, and yes to “dancing it out” (which is what her favorite character, Christina Yang, and Meredith Grey do in Grey’s Anatomy if anyone out there catches that). I’m going to write reflections on my favorite chapters.

Yes to the question “wanna play?” Shonda wrote this about saying yes to her kids when they asked that to make sure she was always making time for them. Obvi don’t have kids. (Although you all wouldn’t know for sure, seeing as I’ve been gone almost long enough to have had 2 secret pregnancies! Hehe weird joke, sorry). But she talks about saying yes to 15 minutes of uninterrupted play time. Which could be indulging in some personal pampering time, reading a book, painting, all without being distracted or on your cell phone. For me it’s a trip to Chachapoyas to eat a pizza or have a drink with another English speaking American. It’s about loving yourself enough to give you that “me time” and not feeling guilty about it. Cause we work, we live better when we’re happier and we’re happier when we play.

Yes to Compliments. Shonda decided to accept compliments with a “Thank you” instead of an “oh no, really I’m not all that.” She talked about how negating someone’s compliment is like telling them they’re wrong, wasted their time, and in fact it’s insulting them. And you don’t appear cocky like some may think, but confident, and confident people are attractive. We are all great. I’m great. Sometimes I feel guilty about my successes and opportunities. Getting into a great college while others didn’t. Being a Peace Corps Volunteer while others can’t. But the thing is, I work hard. Those things aren’t given to one without cost. So when someone says I’m so amazing for doing when I’m doing, I’m gonna appreciate it without feeling guilty, but feeling proud and thankful that someone reached out and showed me that kindness. And vice a versa. We should compliment more. How often do we think something nice about someone, like his hair looks nice, or she gave a really good presentation. We shouldn’t be afraid to tell them so. A compliment makes people feel good. Do it. Whoever is reading this back home, you are amazing and caring and important to me because you are thinking of me when I’m not there. And don’t insult me by saying you aren’t all that great, because, really, you are.

Saying yes to no. This was an interesting chapter. What came out of it more was saying yes to yourself. Saying yes to me. Growing up, I remember my mom telling me, after finding out I agreed to something I didn’t want to do, “you’re too nice, you need to learn to say no.” She was absolutely right. No is not only extremely power, it is extremely important. If you’re offered drugs say yes to you and no to the joint. If a stranger comes up to you in a white van and offers candy, say yes to you and not to the creeper. If you’ve been drinking and are begged by friends to drive them home, say yes to you and no to your phony friends. If you are a truly self-aware person, you can make those decisions with ease. I may not have been self-aware or very self-confident as a teenager. But all this time out here being alone with myself and my thoughts sure makes me both of those things!

Yes to more year of yes. Shonda says although her year is up, she felt so good that she won’t go back to how she was before, in fact she can’t. No is no longer in her vocabulary. This is true for Peace Corps Service. After being so open minded to trying new things as we do daily for two years, and seeing the immense benefits, how can a person leave their service and not be like that forever? We are changing and will be changed for the long haul. We have become people who can overcome obstacles and defeat after defeat, people who understand that we can’t understand others if we don’t understand where they came from, people who want the world to be more connected, people who say yes.